Improving your general well-being and performance

 Alexander Technique - Cyprus

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Some Thoughts...

Misconceptions about Happiness

Posted on March 13, 2013 at 3:00 PM


People look for happiness in all sorts of ways: through obtaining objects or experiences, through trying to change various things around them, through distractions that keep their attention off their problems, through studying psychology, philosophy, religions, etc, or through reading self-help books, attending workshops, going to therapy, taking drugs etc.


The problem with a lot of ways we try to find happiness is that they are based on certain misconceptions. We think that our happiness is based on external circumstances, ones that need to be fixed so that we can be happy. We expect to find happiness when this happens or that changes or when those people around us change. So, happiness is then projected to some place fictional, in the future, at which we never arrive. Even if certain circumstances do change and all seems ok for a while, soon something is bound to change again. F.M. Alexander said “Conditions change so constantly that they cannot be adequately met by an external standard or fixed code as to what is right or wrong.” Yet, we constantly try to correct things extrinsically and to control and manipulate our life, or we feel inadequate and we try to fix ourselves and find what we are lacking, but it doesn’t work because the premise that we start from is wrong. It doesn’t matter what we do or what method we use.


There is nothing to fix, nothing to control. We can’t manipulate our lives. We need to let go of all that. There is nothing wrong with us, and we are not lacking anything! We are already perfect, complete, powerful and whole. All we need to do is learn to stop interfering with ourselves, to allow ourselves to just be. Then the problems we previously tried to solve dissolve on their own. When we realize that in life everything that is happening out there is reflecting what is happening inside us, it changes the whole way that we live. So, we are no longer victims of life…


There’s an analogy I like to use: Imagine that you’re banging your head against a wall and it ends up getting swollen and painful. The ache and the swelling is now ‘the problem’ so you put some ice on it or something, but you keep banging your head against the wall, so the problem doesn’t go away. As you continue to bang your head, a wound is created and no matter how much antiseptic lotion or antibiotic cream or herbal concoctions you use, it keeps getting worse. So, you start taking pain killers and other medication or something but that doesn’t really help either because you’re still banging your head against the wall!


What needs to happen first is for us to realize that we are perfect, as nature designed us, and that it is we ourselves that are interfering with that. Then, we can learn how to stop ‘banging our head against the wall’. 


Hope you enjoyed this post. Please leave your comments below (if the comments box doesn't show you can click on 'comments' on the top right hand corner of this post).


 

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6 Comments

Reply Katerina
5:21 AM on March 14, 2013 
Since you write in english I'll comment in english! One of the things that make me happy is writing so I think having a blog on a subject that means something to you is good for you. If you enjoy writing it we'll enjoy reading it. (it's a good thing you can't see the way I'm sitting while writing this... Alexander wouldn't approve at all!)
Reply stavroula Constanti
9:16 PM on March 14, 2013 
καλή αρχή!!!!!!!
Reply Zoe Apostolidou
6:14 AM on March 15, 2013 
Spot-on! I enjoyed reading and looking forward to reading your next posts!
Reply ★ Owner
11:18 AM on March 15, 2013 
Hi Katerina. Yes, the subject definitely means a lot to me and I do enjoy writing my thoughts on it. If that means you'll enjoy reading it too, that's great! Thank you! :)

Katerina says...
Since you write in english I'll comment in english! One of the things that make me happy is writing so I think having a blog on a subject that means something to you is good for you. If you enjoy writing it we'll enjoy reading it. (it's a good thing you can't see the way I'm sitting while writing this... Alexander wouldn't approve at all!)
Reply ★ Owner
11:18 AM on March 15, 2013 
Σ'ευχαριστώ Σταυρούλλα!!! :)

stavroula Constanti says...
καλή αρχή!!!!!!!
Reply ★ Owner
11:19 AM on March 15, 2013 
Thank you very much Zoe!

Zoe Apostolidou says...
Spot-on! I enjoyed reading and looking forward to reading your next posts!